A Thanksgiving Message
On this Thanksgiving Day we have much to be grateful for. Even if you are not among family and friends, the more joy we create for others, the more we have to be thankful for. The more joy we make for others, the more joy we will find in ourselves.
Take this time, this holiday, to reflect upon what gifts of joy and kindness you might share with others. A gift of kindness shared without reservation has a way of coming back to you.
Take the time to let go of things that do not matter. As I write this I am returning from a business trip and am waiting in Miami for a connection to get back home to Key West. I missed my original tight connection due to an unkind act by the female passenger seated in the middle seat next to me. (I was in the window seat.) The woman was traveling with her husband who had occupied the aisle seat. I had learned that they were on their way to Santiago, Chile, though we had not spoken the whole flight. Although the flight crew had asked passengers to let those with tight connections pass, in spite of my request to do so (and my indication that I had a very tight connection), the woman in the middle seat continued to fiddle with her purse and then began to put on her makeup. Fearing that over the noise of the announcements by the gate agent she had not heard me, I asked once more to be allowed to get out. At that point, the woman said rudely, "Where could you need to go. I'll get up when I am damn well ready." I was startled and as I starred at her in amazement, I could feel a flash of anger, together with unkind words, about to erupt from within me.
On the way to the airport at the end of the business morning, I had promised myself that I would take many deep breaths and let go of the stress of flying on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, no matter how anxious I was to get home to Key West. The woman's husband appeared horrified by her rude comments. Already in the aisle, he began to move away from her, as his body language telegraphed, "I don't know this person."
My stare turned to a smile and then a chuckle as the humor and sadness of him having to live with a shrew like that suddenly struck me. My chuckle, coupled with the horrified looks focused on her from other nearby passengers, seemed to make her angry, but there was nothing more she could say to justify her behavior.
So, I just let it go and figured she was having a bad day. Laughter can be a wonderful tool of non-resistance. Even when, by a hair, I missed my connecting flight, I was not angry, but strangely calm and without blame. In that calm and forgiving moment, for some reason, I remembered some childhood advice my grandfather had given me that seemed a perfect fit for the situation.
"Never wrestle with a pig," he had said. "You'll just get dirty, and the pig likes it."
I think, after all these years, I now understand what he meant. Letting go of what, in the long run, really does not matter can free you to see more clearly the things that do matter and allow you to be grateful for the accidental gifts that come your way. It can also help you to realize that it is not the repentance of the wrongdoer that creates forgiveness but the forgiveness of the victim.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Take this time, this holiday, to reflect upon what gifts of joy and kindness you might share with others. A gift of kindness shared without reservation has a way of coming back to you.
Take the time to let go of things that do not matter. As I write this I am returning from a business trip and am waiting in Miami for a connection to get back home to Key West. I missed my original tight connection due to an unkind act by the female passenger seated in the middle seat next to me. (I was in the window seat.) The woman was traveling with her husband who had occupied the aisle seat. I had learned that they were on their way to Santiago, Chile, though we had not spoken the whole flight. Although the flight crew had asked passengers to let those with tight connections pass, in spite of my request to do so (and my indication that I had a very tight connection), the woman in the middle seat continued to fiddle with her purse and then began to put on her makeup. Fearing that over the noise of the announcements by the gate agent she had not heard me, I asked once more to be allowed to get out. At that point, the woman said rudely, "Where could you need to go. I'll get up when I am damn well ready." I was startled and as I starred at her in amazement, I could feel a flash of anger, together with unkind words, about to erupt from within me.
On the way to the airport at the end of the business morning, I had promised myself that I would take many deep breaths and let go of the stress of flying on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, no matter how anxious I was to get home to Key West. The woman's husband appeared horrified by her rude comments. Already in the aisle, he began to move away from her, as his body language telegraphed, "I don't know this person."
My stare turned to a smile and then a chuckle as the humor and sadness of him having to live with a shrew like that suddenly struck me. My chuckle, coupled with the horrified looks focused on her from other nearby passengers, seemed to make her angry, but there was nothing more she could say to justify her behavior.
So, I just let it go and figured she was having a bad day. Laughter can be a wonderful tool of non-resistance. Even when, by a hair, I missed my connecting flight, I was not angry, but strangely calm and without blame. In that calm and forgiving moment, for some reason, I remembered some childhood advice my grandfather had given me that seemed a perfect fit for the situation.
"Never wrestle with a pig," he had said. "You'll just get dirty, and the pig likes it."
I think, after all these years, I now understand what he meant. Letting go of what, in the long run, really does not matter can free you to see more clearly the things that do matter and allow you to be grateful for the accidental gifts that come your way. It can also help you to realize that it is not the repentance of the wrongdoer that creates forgiveness but the forgiveness of the victim.
Happy Thanksgiving.
posted by Conchette at 11:24 PM
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